Thursday, January 14, 2010

Where To Begin

As I start typing, my mind runs in many directions. Such is my life, at times. I begin this blog with out a clue as to where it will take me or where I will take it. It's a kind of therapy I have chosen ,with the encouragement of a friend I've known for many years. I thank her for her suggestions and her positive mental attitude towards life. At times it is difficult for me to focus my mind where it truly needs to be. I believe I am ADD. It was once mentioned by my doctor that I may have ADD and at times ADHD. Although, the HD seems to have subsided over the years. That's probably due to coping skills aquired over the years. At 45, I pride myself with a few good qualities. I do work hard and try to keep my word on all issues when possible. I strive to be positive but battling depression can make for a challenge in the dapartment!
I'm a mother and a stepmother. There is a difference. My stepchildren became mine after the age of 5, and have their mother very much a part of their lives. This is a good thing though. For them, that is. Life with stepchildren has its own set of rules and challenges. I try daily to meet these with patience, and the love I would want another to give to my own children. I could go on for days on this subject alone! there will be more!
I have a husband who loves me deeply and is able to convey his feelings to me. I have recently seen others who aren't so fortunate. I have not appriciated this quality in my hubby up to this point, but now see that I should, and fully intend to. I am a mover and a shaker and he is rock solid. We balance each other out. Balance! I believe that is a vital part of life...balance.
This was shared earlier with a wonderful woman whom I respect. Cheers to her! You know who you are and I love you very much!
On the subject of where I begin this new part of my internet experience. For several weeks now the balance of my life has been rocked. It seems everyday comes news from one direction or another of drama, scandal, financial crisis, health issues of loved ones, or just overall BAD news! I feel beaten down by it all and pull myself up several times a day from a pit of dispair. My chemical imbalance which causes my depression is only worsened when my enviroment starts rocking and rolling. I take medication that I am thankful for. With out it, I would wake up mad at the world! Medication alone doesnt keep the depression at bay though. I struggle daily to stay optimistic and positive. I know I am blessed and to complain would seem unappreciative on my part when so many others out there are so much worse off than I am. I am seeking to pour out my feelings in my blog. I welcome the opportunity for input from strangers- as this may give me a different perspective. I also look forward to getting to know myself a little better. Good night Victoria.